I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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