I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
