Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize