I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
