I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
