There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
