She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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