I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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