you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
