i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He passed out mid-signature
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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