fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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