You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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