Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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Do I have a choice?
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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