Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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