swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
