I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
