how can u be prego again
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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