Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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