hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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