Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
