Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
