I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
