Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
