So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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