Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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