I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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