I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
