Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
