theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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