It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The uberlube is also flammable
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
