wakey wakey hands off snakey
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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