wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
