3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
