I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
