For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
