she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
