Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
