He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
