Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
