We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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