Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize