I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
