She's JV to your varsity
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
