I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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