ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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