And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
