420 ftw
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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