Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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