Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
