Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
