Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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