i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
