i just had sex bonerless
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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