The maid of honor just puked.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
