Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
