i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
