I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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