Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
