I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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