chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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