you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
even my farts smell like vagina
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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