There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
